Uncle Leona's Day Camp

Perhaps some duct tape

This week in the office has been hell. Pure hell. Nothing but a gaggle of hacking, snotty (both literally and figuratively), cranky kids and parents. Of course, most of them have this plague that's marching through the schools like Sherman through Georgia that is viral and unfixable. Cough medicine doesn't work. That's where the duct tape theory comes about.

Either on their mouth or my ears. I'm flexible either way.

The Confetti fiber is fully spun and plied; It's almost time to start the sweater; I just need to get the Floor Finder sleeved. I have made the executive decision to change the pattern. The pattern calls for inches of seed stitch at the shoulders. Well, I'm tired of this sweater, and I hate seed stitch (especially when I have to put a bunch of stinkin' decreases in at the ends), so the side seams have been sewn, and I'm putting in plain stockinette sleeves. So there.

Yep, the job has me a bit testy. What are you gonna do about it?? Huh??? Huh??????

I need alcohol.

God bless quarterly estimates

I just finished up my federal and state taxes today. To my surprise, I don't owe either one anything, and Ohio has to pay me back. This is all thanks to my paying five quarterly malpractice premiums this year and paying my quarterly estimates generously. For what it's worth, Ohio is paying for my vacation next month.

Maybe I'll send them a card. Not.

Where am I going, pray tell? Arizona. Carefree, Arizona to be exact. All I was looking for was warmth. The photos for this resort showed a swimming pool, mountains, and cacti. Bingo. I have even started to scope out the knitting and spinning shops in the greater Phoenix area. Any suggestions would be appreciated, of course...

Speaking of spinning, Kato is excited that I have taken some time off to blog so that she can reassume her rightful spot on the couch:

I have also managed some knitting of late. The Floor Finder is now joined at the shoulder:

Exciting, I know. I also did a lot of swatching of the Yak Berry this weekend. I think it's going to go into a Feather and Fan dealie:

This is on a size 8. I think I'm going to go to a 9 or 10 ultimately.

Before I did my taxes, I decided to get just a tad creative this morning. Thanks to a blank bunch of mohair from Paradise Fibers and a sale on Kool-Aid at Topp's, I now have funky roving:

The one on the left used a total of 8 packs of Kool-Aid, the one on the right took two (it's significantly smaller). I went with the microwave dyeing technique from Knitty.com. I'm curious to see how this stuff will spin up. All I know is that my fingers are going to be pleasantly fruity.

I'm nicer than I thought

I am 34% Asshole/Bitch.

I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me.

I'd like to thank the Academy for this honor. Although I do feel my score is significantly lower than it should be. Must be having a good day today.

Thanks to all for the kudos on the Yak Berry. The more I fondle it, the more I love it. Of course, now that I'm thinking about making a really nice scarf, I'm looking at my winter coat and realizing it just doesn't show off scarves well. Maybe I need a new coat.

Spring better come soon.

I would also like to thank all of you for commiserating with me regarding the mammogram experience. I'm in such a great mood that I plan on doing my taxes this weekend.

Party on, Garth.

And they say I don't know how to party

Guess what I did today?? Here's some clues:

How about...

Getting an idea? This should just about seal it...

Yep, it was mammogram day. This is the kind of fun that we women really shouldn't keep to ourselves. Nothing like squeezing my beyond D cups to about a micron in depth (OK, so maybe it wasn't that bad; I wasn't looking). I am a firm believer that this contraption was built by a man; of this there can be no doubt. What I can't understand is why the studies of that particular body part haven't simplified over the years. I mean, with all the advances of modern medicine, women still are stuck pretending to be a pile of bread dough with a heartbeat?? After all that kneading today, I think things may start rising soon.

When do guys get the testiculograms??? I need to know.

OK, it wasn't all that bad. It needed to be done; I had put it off for two years. Now I have a yearly ritual. Seeing as my social life is stagnant, I guess it's one way to get a little action on Valentine's Day.

Yep, I'm in rare form today. I did manage a little more knitting on the Clown Vest yesterday.

It's getting close. I also have finished the plying of the Yak Berry; 425 yards of it, to be technical:

This stuff is so beautiful it's scary. I have to locate the perfect scarf pattern to showcase it. There are a few in mind.

I'm also starting to see an end in sight for the Cotswold/Confetti tweed stuff. I did have to purchase another pound of Cotswold (roving, not raw wool this time; I'm in lazy mode), so here's where I stand:

Spun:

Unspun:

Progress...it's all about progress...

Clowning around

Well, I did frog the left front of the Clown Vest. The blue just didn't look right. Not neon enough, I guess. So, here's the latest look at the front of the vest:

And the back:

I left the entrelac out on the back--I really wanted to use up more of the handspun. The Sunshine Fiber is knitting up beautifully. Lots of character in the finished fabric--plenty of orange, but lots of little bits of yellow and red to make it fun. It will singlehandedly bring on spring.

I hope.

There's a new fiber on the wheel at the moment. It's Yak Berry, from Paradise Fibers.

The color is a dusty dark mauve with some white and black for interest. It's taking forever to spin, though. The staple length is about half of the wool I've been plowing through, so there was a lot of breaking going on (and a few choice expletives) until I got a clue. This is going to be gorgeous once it's plied--for what, I have no clue.

As for Mr. Match.com, he never called back this week, so I'm guessing I've frightened off another one. Of course, there's always someone in waiting: an uneducated dwarf emailed me this evening. Here's part of the email (be prepared; it's amazing):

"Hi Doctor , how are you doing tonight. I am a dwarf and have alot of ear infections. At first I thought it was my teeth but it was'nt because my wisdom teeth are gone so then I called the doctor and went and seen himand sure enought it was a ear infection again."

Yep, that's just what gets my heart going pitter pat: the romance of ear infections, teeth, and grammatical disaster.

This being single may not be as bad as I thought.

Clothes without an "off" switch

Today, I decided to reteach myself the art of knitting. After mismashing several different patterns, I've come up with a use for the Sunshine Wool. I present to you...

Drumroll, please....

The Clown Vest!

Well, the left front of it anyway. Now, before someone out there gets huffy, I do realize that the Noro folks had published a similar pattern a few years back. I couldn't find it around these parts, so I made do. I would have had to alter the Noro thing anyhow; those patterns are designed for women with no boobs. Bottom line: no, I'm not sharing this pattern; it's too close to the Noro one to be considered an original. Sorry.

OK, now that the legal stuff is done...The entrelac is done with Noro Kureyon and is just as obnoxiously bright as the photo shows. The orange in the handspun actually tones it down. Go figure. I'm not 100% thrilled with the yellow, but I'm waiting until morning to pass judgement; the lighting in my living room is decidedly golden. Anyhow, this vest is going to eventually have Kureyon bands as well. I'm planning on finding some pretty funky buttons to complete the wild and crazy thing.

Bozo would have been proud.

As for my hot lunch date, I thought it went pretty well. The guy was nice, funny, and fairly cute. We'll see if I get the phone call for date #2. Keep your fingers crossed!

One of these days, I will knit again

I must reiterate: spinning is fiber crack. I managed to finish up the Sunshine skeins last night. They will be put into one very bright vest once I roll up my sleeves and figure the pattern out. Of course, now I needed to clean up that gorgeous confetti roving of mine (you remember...the one with every fiber known to man that I scored on eBay). Anyhow, I'm having some serious fun now:

Singles:

The natural colored wool is also an eBay score--I actually bought raw fleece to play with. After the first round of carding, I may never do that again. This is going to be work. I now know why drum carders cost so friggin' much: people carding fleece will pay any price to get those spiky paddles out of their hands!

Plied:

Ooooohhhh...pretty...And now it's knitted up:

I was a bit worried that I'd need to go with a gray roving to mix with the blended stuff, but the natural gives it a classy look. Sort of a ragg knit on acid kind of thing. Anyhow, the fibers are spinning quickly. I'm now in need of carding again. Ugh.

Oh...time for a Public Service Announcement:

Don't let your cat use your unspun wool as a kitty bed.

Turns out that Kato, in all of her wool kneading glory, managed to actually felt a small amount of the Sunshine fiber. This from a cat with no claws. She also matted it down so much that drafting it required fingers, fingernails, and brute strength to get it thin enough to spin. She has now been banned from fiber boxes, and oh, is she pissed.

And on the personal front, wish me luck. I meet a Match.com fella Saturday for lunch. He sounded pretty nice over the phone, and his photo revealed that he had teeth. It's a start.

Some things are better left unspun

I am all for soy. Really. I like tofu. I love those little soy crunchy things that go on salads. Soy sauce is quite tasty. I'm just not sold on soy silk. To explain: I've had several ounces of soy silk for a couple of years (yet another fiber that failed the drop spindle experiment). Until recently, it has taken up residence under my bathroom sink. It seemed happy there.

Of course, I decided it was time to spin something other than wool. I am an expert, right? It's been a week. I pulled out the soy silk Monday after work and before community band practice and went at it.

Not fun. Not fun at all. Staple length??? Yeah, right. I was breaking this stuff left and right. The verbage was creative, to be sure. But I was determined to get this stuff spun and out of my sight. So, here's the result:

The first three skeins are purely soy silk in denim, aqua, and chartreuse. The fourth is soy silk and some spindle spun wool disaster. The fifth is my favorite, the soy/Kochoran blend.

I now am soy silk free. I think this stuff will eventually go into a hat for my niece. It's so her.

Back to the wool.