Uncle Leona's Day Camp

It pays to have many interests...literally

As many of you may know, I am not just a rabid knitter. I have a truckload of other feathers in the ol' bonnet. I'm a good cook and know how to choose a decent wine for a meal. I make teddy bears. I can find stuff for a song on eBay like a fiend. But there is one interest I have that may just challenge knitting for six months out of the year:

My name is Leona. I am a golfaholic.

My Dad made me this golf ball rack for my birthday last year. The balls and pencils represent courses around the country that I've managed to leave marks on. Some of the marks were from golf spikes, others from a slammed-down-in-disgust 5 iron, but I digress. As you can see, I've managed to lay down sod in a lot of places (9 states, one province, to be technical about it).

Anywho, I have been one of the few female posters to a golf message board for about 4 1/2 years now. My contribution is basically comic relief, but it's fun nonetheless. The site is undergoing a bit of a change: it originally had reviews done by two guys in addition to the message board. Due to life changes, they have decided to open up the reviewing process to more people. On a lark, I volunteered to help out if they needed me.

You're looking at a new editorial contributor to Ham'n'Egg On Golf. I will be offering up opinions with another gal from the site on women's golf equipment. I may not be able to play as well as everyone out there, but I'm never lost for an opinion on something. As a thank you, I have the opportunity to either keep the equipment at half price, or sell it on eBay and hold onto half the cash. What a deal! Not bad for a hack with a 25 handicap and a hand-knit Browns driver cover. I'll let you know when the first review is out. I'm sure the book deals will be mounting after that.

Today's mail also offered a nice surprise. OK, I purchased it, so it wasn't THAT big of a surprise.

It's softball cotton in the "autumn" colorway from Over The Rainbow Yarns on eBay. I had a pattern in mind, but I think I'm just going to do a simple cardigan (or maybe a crewneck) instead. The colors are just too great to be lost in a pattern.

OK, so maybe I'm just lazy and want to finish something quickly and mindlessly. I'm a golf writer now; I can't be bothered with the other complexities of life. I have a Pulitzer to think about.

Or maybe a fair isle...

Kneel before Zod...er.....Grady

Proof positive that this high-powered, who needs sleep, black furball running around my house is an alien:

Grady is completely nuts. He is terrorizing Kato at every possibility (Kato is still managing to be cranky...it's so below her to associate with such cretins as Grady). He has also decided that attacking my legs is great entertainment. He's lucky it's winter and I'm adorned in sweat pants at home, or Kato wouldn't be the only creature smacking him into next Tuesday.

This weekend, Grady gets his first whiff of catnip. I'm warming up Dark Side of the Moon as we speak, dude.

"Catnip? Sounds like a trap."

The latest top-down pullover is in the knit forever stage:

Boring as hell, but it works when you're watching TV. I've actually done a little reading ahead in the pattern (alert the media). It appears that the sleeves are not done in one piece--they want me to seam them. Yeah, like that's going to happen. Let the mathematics begin!

And on the long-languishing spinning front, I present Koko, the alpaca:

OK, so it isn't the actual creature. Kato's nervous breakdown would be complete if that happened. Turns out one of the gals at my knitting guild was asked by a friend who has just gotten into the alpaca business if she knew any spinners willing to take on a fleece. You're looking at the spinner she asked...aw, shucks... I'm thinking this stuff should spin up beautifully. My only quandry is this: it still has that haunting aroma of barnyard, which I'm not exactly thrilled with, and there is a bit of dirt apparent after you handle the fluff...yet the fiber seems to be ready to spin as we speak. Does anyone out there have "THE" method to prepare (or not prepare) alpaca for spinning?

I can wait. I have to study for my boards (the every 7 year cram-a-thon) this weekend, so spinning will have to wait. It will also give me time to figure out how to lock down Grady before the fiber becomes an alpaca/kitten blend.

God bless Mr. Mailman

Today was a gross day. It was dark, rainy, and cold. I had to work. The beeper was out of control this afternoon. But, into this gunk walked my buddy, Mr. Mailman. In the midst of the seriously large pile of junk mail, two items stood out:

First, a package from my Secret Pal!

Gorgeous sock yarn from KnitPicks, and Nickie Epstein's Knitting on the Edge, which I've been coveting for a while. There were also some cute little Halloween lanterns in the package, which are presently hanging in my craft room:

OK, so I need a course in lantern hanging. I can't do it all, people!

Thanks, Pal!

The other item amidst the junk today was my eagerly anticipated brochure for Stitches West 2006. I had this penciled into the schedule for a while now. Anyhow, I hit the internet to find only one class had sold out so far (in the three days of registration), so I went to work. I am now signed up for classes from Sally Melville, Debbie New, Melissa Leapman, Leslye Solomon, and Galina Khmeleva. Once the smoke clears, I figure out how I'm getting there and where I'm staying.

(Cassie, this is where you need to check your schedule: Stitches West is in Santa Clara from February 16-19. The Market opens at 7 PM on the 16th. Apparently, it's even bigger than the one we experienced in Atlantic City.)

So, I have a vacation set four months in advance. I'm figuring the classes, hotel, and flight will be paid for before I hit the market. That's good.

Let the fat lady sing....

The Diamond Cardigan is done!! Woo hoo!!

And the obligate close-up views:

Mr. DeMille, I believe he's ready for his close up.

I can now officially use the pattern as kindling. All complaining aside, the sweater is unbelieveably gorgeous. Now I just need the bottom to drop out of the thermometer. Knowing Cleveland, that won't take too long. That isn't pessimistic; that's realistic. Heck, the weather gurus are already forecasting "wet snow" for next week. Wet, dry, who cares???

IT'S STILL SNOW!

Beware, I'm still a little cranky that Knit Fest was cancelled. My Mom was downright depressed. Like me, she was also avoiding a yarn purchase in anticipation of a little misbehavior in Toledo. I'm still going to head out there to visit my brother that weekend, though. Turns out Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are buying a mansion in his neighborhood (my brother is in servants' quarters compared to the house the Cruises are purchasing). There goes the neighborhood.

Oh, the cats? Kato is trying her best to ignore Grady.

To quote the late, great Indians pitcher Satchel Paige, "Don't look back. Something may be gaining on you."

Leona Needs...

Some of you may have seen a fun little meme making its way around blogville. The task is to Google the phrase "(your name) needs," then find the 10 best to post in your little corner of cyberspace. I tried it with "Lee Ann needs," but I basically got nothing but pleas for Lee Ann Womack to write more. So, I tried my alter ego. Without further ado......

1. Leona needs to get a grip.
Yep, the truth hurts...

2. Leona needs a hair scrunchie.
Wouldn't work. Only a quart of White Rain can keep this mop in control.

3. Leona needs control.
Again, White Rain...

4. Leona needs big money and an elderly husband.
Looking for husbands my age has failed miserably. Time for a new approach.

5. Leona needs but a clear single shot.
And now, the FBI is reading my blog.

6. Leona needs the bathroom, move it!
When you gotta go...

7. Leona needs to have a scene where she runs through the school with a machine gun and dives out a window while shooting at a helicopter...or throwing her earrings at thugs that try to beat you up.
I got nothing.

8. Leona needs to come with you because she has access to our funds from the Royal Treasury.
And that would be from the Grand Duchy of Ohio???

9. Leona needs the lovin' only your thick .... can provide.
I think the access to the Royal Treasury can help me here.

And my personal favorite:
10. Leona needs support and sponsorship to make it to the 2000 Olympic Games.
Sadly, it is now 2005. My Olympic dream was crushed. Where's that Royal Treasury when you need them?

So, there you go. High entertainment.

Tolerance and reason

First of all, tolerance:

Hunger breeds tolerance, I guess. When she isn't hungry, however, Kato is still knocking Grady across rooms. She definitely is healthy once again. Good thing, since Grady has taken to this particular pose most every time Kato is within striking range:

This could be a long winter.

On the knitting front, some bad news was passed along today. Knit Fest 2005 in Toledo was cancelled. CANCELLED!!! I'm so mad I could buy acrylic yarn.

OK, maybe not that mad. Although I did find a sweet pattern today at KnitNet.com for a pullover that called for Patons Fresco. I also found the Fresco for less than two bucks a skein online. Hmmmmmm.... It takes a lot to take the yarn snob out of me.

As for what is presently on the needles, I didn't do any work on the Diamond Cardigan during the Browns game. I decided to start work on something a bit more mindless. And when I say mindless, it usually means, yes, IT'S TOP DOWN PULLOVER TIME AGAIN! I'm using the Easy Raglan pattern from the Green Mountain Spinnery book. I've heard good things and bad about this particular book, but I like it. The patterns are all "normal" and sized for "normal" people. Some may say they're simplistic; I like to think they're classic. Anyhow, the sweater is underway:

I'm doing the cabled neck option, just to be spiffy about it:

My only issue with this sweater, and I'm just being silly about it, is that it is completely symmetrical front and back. I'll be wearing turtlenecks with it, so that shouldn't be too big a deal, but I will have to do something to tell the front from the back. I figure the boobs will do a little stretching to help it along, right?

Oh, and the yarn? Remember the Cables on Whiskey sweater? You're looking at it. As this diet has progressed, the work on the needles was looking REALLY large. The cable pattern also tended to splay the work a bit, so I bit the bullet and hit the ball winder. In lieu of flowers, mourners may send a contribution to Uncle Leona's Home for Wayward Yarn Snobs.

Psycho Kitty, Qu’est que c’est

With all due respect to the Talking Heads, so has been my life for the past week. Kato was given ample opportunity to chow down on a veritable smorgasbord of goodies, and this is what I got:

Any dent seen in the food supply was provided by this:

Grady will soon be the fattest kitten in the tri-state area. Anyhow, Kato bought herself (or more accurately, made me buy for her) one all-expenses paid visit to the vet. The doctor in me wanted to futz around with her thyroid meds, but I thought better of it. So, after about 10 tries, the doc had enough blood to check whether the cat was in serious trouble. Turns out her thyroid was running low (thankfully, the liver and kidneys are still hunky dory). So, now I've been instructed to cut back on her meds, give her a little Periactin to stimulate her appetite, and bribe her with baby food, Fancy Feast, and Tuna.

I'm seeing method to that stupid cat's madness.

Can't you see the evil plan in this cat's eyes? Next stop: grilled salmon steaks.

So, Kato is fine, which leaves me back to knitting issues. The diamond cardigan is now missing only one sleeve.

Did I mention that I really hate this pattern? I guess I did. Only one more sleeve, a button band, and some sewing, and this puppy is toast, baby! For what it's worth, it's going to look primo. Thankfully, I don't tend to hold crappy patterns against the final product.

The sleeve may get done on Sunday; it may not. I'm supposed to go golfing tomorrow afternoon (one last hurrah before the snow flies), then I get to watch the Browns do their thing on Sunday. Here's hoping the game doesn't mess up any row counting.

Still life with battery charger and champagne

OK, so it ain't exactly a Rembrandt, but then again, I bet he couldn't use a digital camera. Just thought I needed to finish off the bottle of champagne that I opened last night. Yes, I do love the stuff. I think that is the sole reason why I'm still holding out hope for a wedding in my lifetime: lots and lots of champagne. And before all of you detail hawks out there comment on my diet and what is and is not allowed, I'll have you know I'm down 15 pounds and counting. And that's WITH vino every night! I look at it as a fruit substitute.

So, what does one do whilst chugging sipping one's champagne? One blogs, of course. First of all, thanks to all of you for joining up in the Kato Support Group. I think progress is being made:

This was a quiet confrontation. There have been more of those over the past couple of days. Kato still is growling a bit, but I haven't heard a hiss today. She still isn't eating well, but I'm hoping that will come back soon (she did manage to put away a little bit of beef baby food this evening, so I'm hopeful). Grady, of course, is the perfect little guy--he discovered the fun that is a practice golf ball last night. Kato looked at him like he was nuts.

Despite throwing Grady off of me at least thirty times yesterday, I did manage to finish off a bit more of the diamond cardigan.

This is after I took out about 5 inches of plain blue stockinette between the design and the ribbing. This pattern has sucked rocks beyond any other pattern I have EVER worked with. The chart, when worked properly, creates a tunic length jacket--I'm looking toward more of the bomber style that I saw when I bought this god-forsaken kit, so ripping from the bottom and re-ribbing was in order. I'm thinking the collar will wind up OK--it needs to be stitched down--but even it was written wrong in the pattern from what the photo showed be. The pattern asked for K4 P4 ribbing; the photo I took at Knit Fest last year shows a stockinette collar.

My Mom would have thrown away this pattern a loooooong time ago. I, on the other hand, am a glutton for punishment. Or is that ripe for a challenge? I forget.

Forget Prozac; Kato needs electroshock

This whole "Kato needs a sidekick" theory is unraveling by the hour. The little guy, who is now officially known as "Grady," is enjoying everything there is about being free from a cage. Of course, his favorite spot from my viewpoint is here:

I'm guessing my boobs are the next best thing to Mt. Everest.

Oh, why Grady? It's in honor of the forever hustling Energizer Bunny of a center fielder the Indians have, Grady Sizemore.

He's cute, talented, and young enough to be my child. Uggh.

So, anyhow, Kato is still having serious issues with this dual cat thing. She isn't eating. She's sulking all day. And the hissing and growling at the very sight of Grady hasn't stopped. I've even tried bribing her with soft food. Grady has decided to eat it instead (even though Kato got first, second, and third dibs).

Anyone know a good cat shrink?

Kato needs a good stiff drink

I've been toying with the idea of finding a little protege for Kato for a while now. After Mom mentioned it again yesterday, I decided to hit the local animal shelter and see what was there. After about two hours of bonding with about a dozen cats, I brought home this little guy:

He's not officially named yet, but I'm toying with "Chip" (yep, I had to have that golf reference). The little guy has been wandering around the house for a few hours now. He has found a basket he likes:

He also has found some areas for pouncing possibilities:

Kato, however, isn't thrilled.

That's the look of a cat on point and growling. She needs kitty Prozac, and quick. I'm figuring it'll take about a week for Kato to get a grip on things. In the meantime, she gets a little extra attention and cat treats.

I work with kids. I know all about bribery.

Big shock. I changed my mind.

It took one look at the photo of the diamond cardigan to make me realize that I hated the way the colors worked out. So, after a quick jaunt to the LYS (I did have to return a skein of yarn, you know...), what was once a right front of a cardigan was transformed to:

Soon, I was looking at this:

I am so much happier with the way these colors just jump out at you. Once all is said and done, I'll either be using brown or purple as the front bands (the leaning is toward purple, as it always tends to be...). This sweater could feasibly outdo the color block cardigan as the most obnoxious sweater in my wardrobe; time, of course, will tell.

So are the joys of being a pediatrician. The ability to wear loud clothing is a plus. It tends to shock the babies into silence.

Take 9 bears, add to eBay, and POOF!

They turned into this:

My new 20GB iPod in all of its 70's and 80's pop music filled glory. OK, so shoot me. I like the music of the late 70's and early 80's. I'm all over Air Supply and hair bands. I view the Bee Gees as visionaries. Wham! was ahead of their time. And don't get me started on Barry Manilow...

As the late Bob Ross would say, "It's your little world...if you want a tree there, put it there..." or something to that effect. Besides, I ain't sharing the headphones, so my jamming to Firefall isn't going to bother anyone.

I must admit, though, that there are a few Green Day and Nirvana tracks included so far to keep me semi-hip. I am not the complete retro-nerd. I prefer the term, "retro-geek."

It is quite the fun toy, as you may have figured out. I'm thinking it'll need a little cozy eventually to hang around my neck as I ride my bike. Maybe next week I'll work on it. Maybe.

Why maybe, you ask? Well, the new project is in full gear. What was once a shopping bag full of bulky yarn is now this:

What this will eventually be is a jacket. I purchased the kit at Knit Fest in Toledo last fall. Only took 10 months to start it. Why so long? Well, the yarn that came with it just was not bulky enough for my taste, so I ordered some Mountain Colors from Discount Yarn Sale.com. Unfortunately, it took about six weeks to get the yarn, so by that time I was plowing through other stuff. Then it got warmer, so the wool was put aside...you get the picture.

Then I tried to work the pattern. Ugh. The instructions are terrible. Thankfully, I did have the presence of mind to take photos of the project I was trying to make (which was not even close to what was portrayed by the pattern), so I was able to make a few adjustments to the design. I'm still not 100% sold on my color combos, though. I love the blue and purple colors, but the beigey vertical stripe is bothering me a bit. Maybe it would be better off in the diamonds. And the red colored yarn that came with the kit also rubs me the wrong way.

This may call for a trip to Ikealand to see if the stash can assist me in my hour of need. That's what it's there for, right?

And before you start worrying about me frogging all of that work, don't. I already ripped apart one piece after realizing I knitted it with a size 10 instead of a size 11 (I was in pattern altering mode; there were so many needles flying around I didn't know what was going on). These pieces only take an evening's knitting to finish, so frogging isn't the worst thing I could do.

Stay tuned. This project has soap opera written all over it.